The ocean is constant; it shifts, forming waves, sometimes storms, and flattens out again to a smooth and shining sea. On it he has built an empire - one of three.
It is no wonder that he is tired...
Tiernan has slept in, the sleep of the deeply exhausted. The sun rose, and now it approaches the midheavens, and he is only just stirring - much to his own surprise. His husband has departed for other duties, but he remains, shifting up from the depths of sleep as he looks around, and remembers promises made and promises extracted.
What am I going to go with myself if I am not working? Tiernan frowns as he passes through bathing and shaving and dressing, examining his reflection critically in the mirror. I do not know how not to work. What if the Santini deal goes sour? Or the diplomatic attache for the Flower Peninsula has another tantrum? What if...
Enough. He decides it for himself. He is, after all, a man of his word, even if he isn't sure what to do about vacations. His hair is pushed back, tied at the nape of his neck; his shirt is buttoned up and a scarf and coat added. There are other commitments than work, after all. He can turn his attention to those, surely. Tell the king that I am going out, he tells one of his creatures, a pewter hippopotamus with onyx eyes. ...For a walk through the city, and some lunch. Tell him I will send word if I should prove delayed.
He has a sudden need to be free of the palace, of its airy rooms and stifling countenance. It is a bit like going in to the office when you've promised not to do anything, after all; and he allows his footsteps to take him down from the palace to the streets, trying to not automatically follow the familiar paths to his other offices, to his ships and his warehouses too.
Business, commerce, art, philosophy, trade, music and dance. Does it ever stop in the Capitol City? New York, London, Beijing, Tokyo, Berlin, Paris -- large and dynamic cities all, but they could only look on in surprise at the amount of work, embellishment, bartering, betting, worshipping and creating that The City in this Otherworld is home to.
Ships are at the piers -- pulling out and heading in -- in a show of neverending supply and demand. The markets are full of those hunting, shopping and persuading and selling. The weather is brisk -- a spring storm blew in from the north coast around the time a king and his consort were finally coming to rest, and while it is sunny and bright -- truly, is anything more cheery than spring? -- the winds are cool from the east-north-east.
He stands tall amid the populace, but even if he were short he couldn't be missed. The cerulean color of his hair, plaited with mother-of-pearl beads close to his scalp, is a beacon. It is long, the braids' ends undone to allow the hair to move like waves against the middle of his shoulderblades. It is playful. It is buoyant. In ways that only a dolphin could know and express. And in his blues and whites he looks like the cresting of a wave.
Agapios pauses his wandering in the market to take a closer look at a jeweler's wares. "Ooh, that is lovely. May I see it a bit closer?" He smiles that gleaming smile, at one and at peace with his surroundings and ogling the platinum cuff with the inset stones. His sea-green eyes alight with delight and his face explodes in a grin as the cuff is placed upon his right wrist. It instantly becomes him. "I will take it." He doesn't ask how much.
His long pants are white and loosely fitting, pooling at his ankles where his nearly bare feet are revealed. He wears sandals, of course, to protect his fine feet from the cobble and gravel. But the metal and work is so fine, the shoes are nearly invisible. His tunic shirt is mottled blues and whites, swirling colors painted in the lightest silk. It and the pant's fabric move as the breeze wishes.
There are so many people. And he is tired; still, though for now the expenditure of energy has slowed, he is still tired. He walks slowly in response to it, and he slows further as he catches sight of you in the crowd.
Even after so many years, there is still emotion. I suppose it could not be otherwise. I loved you, after all, and I did not stop; I ... merely loved another more. I made my choice, and I do not regret the choice.
He smiles to himself. Not all his memories are unfortunate ones; there have been good things as well as the terrible things about which he's finally told two of his sons. But his eyes are not untroubled, not entirely, and he turns for a moment to a vendor to purchase a drink of cool fruit juice mixed with mango pulp and rum. I regret that the choice was necessary.
It is almost tempting to let you go on your way without seeing him. And a part of him wishes that he could do so; but it would not be honorable. It would be beneath him, and it would be unfair to you. And I have been unfair enough to you already...
Money changes hands, and Tiernan turns again. He looks for you again, to see where you have moved to, to change his course in your direction. He has a duty to fulfill, after all. He is so very bad at not working.
There are just ...too many delights! He does not know what to buy first. There is the cuff, of course, yes that. And... how about this. "Is that a purple diamond?" he inquires, gesturing to the case. There is a pendant there, with multiple stones fashioned like shark teeth. The shopkeeper, a woman with blue skin and two sets of arms, smiles to him.
"They are, singer of the deep," she whispers. It is not so much a secret -- it is just the way she speaks. "Violet diamonds with the shards of obsidian that you see."
Agapios looks up at her, his smile still planted firmly in the soil of his lips. "I will have that as well, please." As she begins preparing those gems, packaging them for him, he pulls out a small silken bag. Her payments are in coins -- platinum -- and a gem.
"I thank you," she husks, presenting him with a box wrapped in silk. "May it bring you fortune and delight."
"Delight, it has already brought me," Agapios says. A new cuff upon his wrist and a new torque in his hands, he turns. He places the bag in his pants' pocket, keeping a hand on it. The market is thick with possibility and beauty; it is also thick with thieves.
Agapios lifts his head to look around -- where to next? -- and then he smiles. It is a fond thing, immediately, that look. He sees you...
But in that siren's way of his, he does not hail you aloud or call you to him. He turns upon a wave of air, his steps leading him to another booth. There he stops, and looks over his shoulder. Coming?
Tiernan smiles, and the corners of his eyes crinkled at the corners for a moment. You have not changed. It has been years, and you have not changed at all. He shakes his head - but his footsteps follow yours, as they had before. His are slower than they used to be; he is older than he was, those years ago...
"You are enjoying yourself," Tiernan comments once he is within earshot. He does not give much notice to the booth, nor to the other people around him; you have his focus, that unique Aegean gaze. "And spending a great deal of money, I see. Buying gifts for your sisters?"
Agapios is forever smiling -- what dolphin have you ever seen frown? "That would be magnanimous of me, but no. They have plenty. This is for... me." He smiles. "I should buy something for someone else. You are here. What would you like, my friend?"
Laughter comes easily, as does his hand to your arm as you finally come beside him. It has been a long time, and yet with him it seems just like it was yesterday...that you have, in fact, not been parted at all. You are still young in his gaze.
Agapios pats your arm and shoulder, keeping his hand there. "I know you like the roasted almonds in the honey and cinnamon. Shall we find that booth? Pick out any treasure," he says warmly, "...and it will gladly be my gift to you. It is good to see you. I hear so much about your vessels, your work. You have done much with your time, as I expected you would."
Yes, he loves you. It is as pure and delightful as it was when he insisted on taking you to Oannes and joining you on your quest. Time has not muted it; it has not even put it on pause. It has existed, for him, uninterrupted. "Shall we finally have that tuna we were discussing on the beach? I could do with a spicy tuna roll. Mmm... delightful," he sighs and he loops his arm with yours to walk alongside you.
He smiles at you quietly, and a little bit of Time unsticks from him. The smile is as you remember it; thoughtful, not ever entirely without reservation, but gentle and given freely. You have aged better than I, my friend. But it is good to see you. "I am surprised that you hear about my work," Tiernan says aloud, the smile remaining. "I would not think it of interest, to most. But one does what one can, deus knows."
You walk and he walks with you, reddening just slightly as you take his arm. He allows it; he has not the energy to do otherwise, even if he would wish to. And he does not. "Tuna or almonds," he tells you with a smile, "but not both. Whichever you prefer. My time is open at present, so there is no hurry. Unless you are expected as a delegate soon? I confess, you caught me by surprise when you appeared. Though not as much surprise as for Io, I am afraid." He lets you lead; he is marveling, a little, in how easily you accept matters, and it draws his gaze downward in introspective thought.
He laughs quietly, the laugh he has always had with you. It bubbles like air in water, making the air around him fizzy. "I count your ships when they are sailing across my waters, my friend. Do you not think I would know? I have an entire battalion assigned to your trade currents." Of course, I know your endeavors. I am the sea on which you sail.
"Tuna rolls it is then," he murmurs, and he leads you on a meandering path. He is in no hurry. "My time is, as ever, my own. Today I do not choose to be a delegate. I choose to walk with my friend." Agapios is silent a moment, simply enjoying the walk with you. He looks to you with the smile yet perched upon his mouth as you speak of your lover and king. "I still upset him. That is too bad. He has been a very wise and very compassionate king. He has been a friend to Oannes. But... friendships are hard to bear where there is so much emotion. I do not hold it against him. I only wish that the heart that is so big with his people could have allowed us to remain lovers, to see that our togetherness did not negate him. But then, he is not a dolphin." He grins. "I understand his greed. You were... and I imagine still are... very delightful, Tiernan. The silver suits you," Agapios murmurs after a moment. "You have hair the same shade as an abalone shell, it sparkles."
It is still between you. It is as if it never left. His arm in your arm, walking side by side, the connection is strong. It would be strong if you were not touching. His oceanic eyes look to you as he leads you to the market's food booths. The tuna rolls will be near the water, but are still some distance away. "I was hoping he had mellowed," he admits. "For I miss my friend. I should like to see him more than once every twenty years."
"I hope my ships and my men have caused you no difficulties." It is almost an apology. It is definitely a segue into work, if he is not stopped. He looks at you, his smile as gentle and as pained as it ever was. "If they have, you should let me know. I will change whatever is needed, so that it is no longer an issue."
You lead, and he follows. Do you see how tired he is? He emotional - the recent revelations to his sons has brought up old memories too near the surface. "I ... think that he is less unhappy over it than he was," Tiernan answers quietly. He turns to look at you seriously. "It is my fault, though, Agapios. I - owe you a very large apology, and a debt." He stops, turning towards you, his hand moving to yours for a moment before falling away. He reddens at such open conversation about intimate matters - and does not directly address them. "I have not been a good friend to you, and I have not repaid your friendship well. I ... owe you much, yes? And I have not repaid that."
He laughs softly again, shaking his head slightly as he walks with you. "No, no... no difficulties. We were there to... smooth the way for you," he notes. "You don't think that your relationship with the king was the only pirate deterrent you had, do you? You are a friend of Oannes, forever. And ...we protect our friends, Tiernan."
You are far more serious when you stop. When you stop, so does he. He takes your hands a moment. And for your admittance there is a compassionate and reassuring smile. Again, you trouble yourself too much. "My friend, I have never doubted your friendship or your heart. I knew...and I know...that you were not at liberty to return it as freely as it was given. I have... never held you responsible or..." responsible really isn't the right word there. Agapios takes your hand again. "I have never blamed you for anything, Tiernan. You really must stop blaming yourself. You're good at it, I know," Agapios gently teases, as ever he has. "I have been here all along. Well, not right here, but I have been beside you in my thoughts. You've never been far from me. I accept your apology because I know you will not be able to sleep until I do," he leans in with a smile, "...but you have no reason to apologize. And... let us consider all debts paid today. Today, we are friends, we are here, and we are walking arm in arm." He loops your arm with his again. "We are walking and talking freely in the market and we are heading for tasty tuna rolls. It is a fine, fine day, my friend."
He is quiet for a moment. He gives you that time for you to attempt to accept what he says. He knows it will be difficult. "I am glad he is less unhappy about it than he was. For it only serves to make you both unhappy. Would he begrudge our walk, our talk?" Would he begrudge more? It is the unspoken question.
You are right, of course. And you know him too well; he is blaming himself. He will blame himself. He smiles at you quietly, and allows you to draw him back into your orbit. "I have never mastered your ability to think in the present," Tiernan tells you as he resumes walking with you. "Even after more than twenty years."
He will not so easily let go of debts, but he will be silent on it, for the moment. "I do not think that he would," Tiernan answers your question. "He knows it is important to me, but ... I do not know how he would feel, about more. I do not know how well I could divide myself." He looks at you, answering unspoken thoughts as well as spoken thoughts, and answers obliquely. He does not know. But there is more. "I am under orders not to work for the next week or two."
"As you know, I am an expert in not working. I was not a valet, once. And I am not a delegate today." He smiles at you. "My heart it a wide open sea, Tiernan. You are always welcome to swim in it. I ...would enjoy a swim, as a matter of fact. What about you?"
It is a proposition. But it is not done to seduce you into something you may or may not want, and it is not steeped in his own agenda. It is a simple offer, one he wishes to gives and one he hopes you will accept.
"There is an island midway between here and Oannes that is quite secluded. It would be a true escape. You look as though you could use a true escape. And... I think you deserve one. You could nap, relax in the sun, enjoy the warm currents and breezes. It would be quite restorative..."
Agapios smiles to you, his arm slipping along your own so that his hand clasps yours in friendship. "It is easy to be in the present, far easier than you think. The trick is in not thinking too much. You plan. You build things. You are an engineer. Not thinking and not working is work for you. I understand. But perhaps that is what the king is wishing... for you to not think, to be in the present, in this moment, whether or not he is in it with you, this Right Now. You need to restore your soul, your energy. You can't do that if you are running around holding the world on your shoulders. The world is heavy." His thumb moves against your hand as he slowly walks with you.
"I would like to, if it would cause no difficulties." That is the difficulty. He is not sure. He does not wish for a question asked to give rise to a host of difficulties. He smiles at you, but there is that sadness, that trouble in his eyes. "But I will ... find out. Yes?"
He responds to you as he always has; there is the temptation, that lure, that draw, backed by friendship. "The world is heavy, "Tiernan agrees quietly. And he is so very weary. "I will ask if he minds. Yes? And if he does not, then, yes, I will go with you."
He smiles at you. He knows you must ask, that you in your heart could not bear the guilt of not asking. Agapios slides his arm within yours again and he wanders with you, the tuna roll booth in sight. "I will hope then for the king's heart to be as wide as my own," Agapios murmurs. "I will ask the stars for that allowance."
There is love, there is desire, there is temptation, but there is above and beyond all that, respect and friendship. "I will expect a good answer," Agapios smiles to you. "For expecting the positive is the only way to experience it, my dear friend."
Hope for the best, and the best is usually revealed. Fear the worst, and the worst always shows itself.
Posted by rowan at March 02, 2009 06:45 PM
