The crowds at the stadium are growing progressively larger and certainly more vocal. With participants from around the entire united kingdoms joining in the games to celebrate the (peaceful) crowning of a new king, the excitement is becoming as frothy as the nearby sea. Colors and standards for the other kingdoms participating in the games have been added to the stadium, and the arrival of vending carts and souvenir stands signal the arrival of coronation activities.
     Dust and hooves! Wheels and the flash of metal! The charioteers racing for starting position, careen around the final turn, their fates for the championship race coming down to the final few seconds! Catalonia, Camelot and Avalon, the Flowering Tree, Red Castle, Dale and Glen and Silverglen are represented, their champions having beaten out others in yesterday's preliminaries. And among these, the Champion of the Crown, the victor of the Capitol's contests: King Balthazar.
     He wears the crest of his father, the brilliant white comb helmet reminiscent of Troy, but everything else shows the colors of his new kingdom: gold for the Sun. His chariot, his horses' barding, all match his own, and the reins are like rays of sunlight beaming from his hand.
     One! Catalonia!
     Two! Balthazar!
     Three! Camelot and Avalon
     Four! The Flowering Tree
     Five! Red Castle!
     Six! Silverglen
     Seven! Dale and Glen!
     The championship match is set, the order confirmed. Second from the inside belongs to Balthazar.
     The racers bring their steeds under rein and under control, the dust and noise beginning to settle. Golden eyes beaming through his helmet's open eyeway, Balthazar glances briefly to the stands -- really to the scoreboard for the finishing times. Of course, every woman within the vicinity of that glance will think he looked up just to her...
     Bringing his team of three horses to a mostly calm prance (the middle horse, antsy, dances with energy yet to release. No he did not race them full out), Balthazar rides through the gate, a hand lifted in thanks to the crowd as he disappears. Past the contestant's entry gate, handlers for each team come to fetch the mounts. Balancing in the car, Balthazar removes his helmet. His golden hair is wavy from his perspiration, and his skin, where it is revealed, seems beaded by golden sweat. It is a mirage, certainly, the reflection from all of the burnished gold that he wears.
     The charioteer's gear consists of fully armored torso and a kilt-girdle of metal and (typically) leather. Balthazar's is all metal. He wears golden armored boots as well. At the end, even though he is wearing a metal kilt, the only portion of his legs that are bare to the gaze are his knees, and maybe an inch of solid muscle above the knee.
     He smiles, pausing to exchange handshakes and congratulations to Catalonia and best wishes all around, and he turns, handing his helmet to his squire. Helmet and then gloves. And he is so warm, so heated, that he cannot feel the chill of crisp autumn air. To him... it is Summer...

     Brother, the thought is sent to you. It is your sister. One of them, anyway. If you are soon free, we would like a few moments of your time...
     Tanira has not bothered with the more straightforward means of movement. She has instead examined her grandmother's spell, turned it inside out, and then reproduced it with some minor alterations, shaking it out the way one might shake out a silk dress. She has, thus, opened up a doorway from her own rooms to the royal box. And she is not alone.
     Oh, she had considered it; but after some moments of thought, she changed her mind. And so, despite the recent distresses, Maddie is seated in the box as well, having washed her face and ordered a pineapple juice to be delivered. Both she and Tanira are well away from the windows; not that anyone can see in right now, but why take chances? Tanira sits gracefully on a chair while Maddie sprawls out on a sofa. If you are free and have time before your next match, of course, your sister adds politely. We are in the box...

     Sure. I'm done for the day, actually. We? He wonders about that but then moves past it. It is a thought that quickly evaporates. I will be up in a few moments. If you don't mind that I won't have showered yet. Could you do me a favor and order some food? I'm starving. Anything will do.
     Naturally.
     It is some minutes later, maybe seven (the stadium is enormous), when there is commotion heard in the antechamber, the sudden fever pitch of servants and guards springing into action. It is punctuated, accompanied, by the chiming and ringing of metal. Of armor.
     When the door opens, he is There. Sunrise and High Noon himself, fresh from the tournament field, wet towel to his face and neck -- he at least tried to make himself presentable to a lady, even if she is his sister.
     His armor gleams, etched with the various stations of the sun, art of the sun down through the ages, by a variety of cultures engraved upon metal. It fits close to him, a second, metallic skin apart from the kilt of metal; that swings loose, multiple layers providing various forms of protection.

     Of course, little brother. There will be food. Naturally. She goes to the door and summons a servant; it hasn't arrived by the time you do, but it will be on its way. Tanira greets you with a placid kiss to the cheek while Maddie hurls herself at you as soon as the door is closed. "Baz!" She limpets onto you as if you'd been injured again, only less gently.
     "Hello, little brother," Tanira says calmly. "Come in and make yourself comfortable, won't you? I promise not to be an intrusive kind of chaperone," she adds a trifle dryly. "...Madison and I have just come from a meeting with Sabira and your grandmother."

     Balthazar bends to receive the buss from his sister, a warm smile to her, and then for Maddie there is a tender grin. "Hello, baby." And a kiss. "How are you?" And a hug, before he let's her go. He looks to Tanira, heading for the seating area with a Maddie attachment. "Oh yes?" he seems interested.
     Not surprised. But interested.
     "How did that go? Nainie can be a little intense." Balthazar's arms let Maddie go as he makes the understatement of the decade. He looks between the two of them, love there for them both -- of different kinds. He glances behind him to the window. The glass is closed -- there will be no peeking in!
     Plopping down on the sofa, Balthazar sighs. And men who sit in skirts, even metal ones, have to mind their Ps and Qs. Thankfully, it's long enough to contain his modesty.
     If he had any modesty, that is...

     "Intense is a good way of putting it," Maddie mumbles. She sits next to you and snuggles in against you, her head on your shoulder. She sighs and looks to Tanira for help.

     "She brought up some good points, and has proposed some solutions for it," Tanira answers calmly. She does not rise to Maddie's look. "For the most part, I think that the two of you should discuss it; it affects the two of you the most deeply. I do, of course, retain my own opinions - and I have some suggestions to make, but I will wait and see if they are needed." There is a knock, and she rises. "But first I'll fetch the food from the valet."
     Maddie sighs again and looks up at you. "Well... I've had a chance to calm down a little, even though I'm still a little upset. But your sister's right, she did make some good points," she says falteringly. "I just - well," and now she looks stubborn, "I don't agree with all of them. She wants me to move into the dorms, for one."

     The look of curiosity was open as warm, merely waiting for revelations, as each of you took a turn to speak. He kissed Maddie on the forehead as she rested his head at his shoulder, and as his sister began to speak his expression became more...focused.
     It is when Maddie mentions dorms that his attention sharpens: "Excuse me?" And, yes, he does sound like a general talking just then. Balthazar looks from Maddie to Tanira to the arrival of food and back. "The dorms on Philosopher's Island?"
     There are no other dorms, really. There are the campuses on that island, and the dorms that go with them. "That's not going to work," he says simply.
     It is a point of fact. However difficult it is to go between floors, moving between islands is a whole other prospect. Eyes of sun shift back to his sister.

     "No," Tanira agrees as she wheels in a table of food, "it's not likely to." There is a brace of roast capons, seasoned with rosemary and garlic. You can smell it from where you sit. A baby wheel of cheese, several short crusty loaves of bread, a basket of apples and oranges and pears; a handful of smoked sausages, a bowl of nuts, and a small platter of sweet iced buns are all sharing space with a flagon of beer that could almost qualify as a young barrel. She wheels it to in front of you and retreats back to her chair. Apparently, she is waiting for Maddie to say something in particular.
     "I see her point, but no, I don't want to," Maddie looks to you, and sighs. She's unhappy, although not as miserable as she could have been. "She did bring up some good points - I mean, I totally forgot about our deal with my granddad, about the degree. I don't know why, I guess I was thinking studying at the academy was 'good enough'. And of course, I haven't really been doing all that much, I guess - I mean, working at things. But some of it's your fault too." She looks up at you, chewing at her lower lip. "We don't talk about stuff much, we kind of, um, get distracted. So while yeah, I should be working more on - on my stuff, I don't know how to help you, because I don't even really know what you're doing, or what you're supposed to be doing. Sabira and your grandmother both brought up that you've been - sort of waiting for me to catch up, and ... that's not good. Okay. They're right, you shouldn't put yourself on hold indefinitely. But in that case, I need to know where you're at and what you need, because I - I've never done this."
     She is nervous as to how you will react, but she is also earnest. She would take your hand, but she doesn't know that you'd let her. She looks at you and she trembles slightly, but she doesn't flinch. "So. Let's, um. Let's talk about it?"

     Placating me with food and beer? His words carry to his sister in a look. No, he is not happy. He's not fuming, but he is upset.
     "Okay," Balthazar says upon an exhale, sitting back on the sofa. He looks between you both, "Before we just leap into this, what is the context for the conversation? What was her point, what were her positions, and what has she asked you to do or us to do? This is a bit out of nowhere."
     As he pours beer from the flagon into a smaller glass, Balthazar looks to Tanira and then to Maddie once more. He takes a long swallow, his keen attention returning to you both. He keeps his opinions and responses to the current questions on hold...

     That isn't fair to me, Balthazar. You asked me to order for you. Tanira sits up straight, spine erect enough to be measured with a yardstick. She angles her chin upwards, folding her hands in her lap composedly and looking straight ahead. Whatever emotional reaction she might have is kept under wraps; out of sight even of you.

     "Mostly that I'm not - what's the word - I'm not doing enough to prepare myself for if we get married someday, that I haven't taken into account what's involved. I've been throwing myself into dancing and letting other people do all the work on the politics and stuff except for the gossip angles. She's right, I have." Maddie looks at you; she can tell you aren't happy, and it makes her shrink inwards a little, looking down at her feet now. "I guess I didn't really - think about it, or not enough. I haven't experimented with my magic or done any kind of research on it, or on - on where we are, or anything. I've been kinda coasting. And, well, summer vacation's kinda over, isn't it? So I have to rejoin the real world. Except it's more complicated than that."
     She sighs, rubbing one cheek and still looking down, not really comfortable. "So - she wants me to take some extra classes at the academy which will help get me basic info on here and, I guess, help prepare me for if someday we get married - the queen stuff, which I guess kind of went over my head. And she's requiring I live up to my promise to my granddad, which is fair. And other than that, the only things she's really said she wants are me to move into the dorms, and me to start thinking about these things, and figuring stuff out, like with my magic and so on. And, well, she's not wrong about all of it, but I don't think she's a hundred per cent right, either. And for the queen stuff, and for trying to get places to where I'd be able to help you... protocol classes or history classes can't teach me that for the most part. The only way I can figure that out is by talking to you, Baz. So's to know what you want to try to do, and - and how I could help. Because she's right, I don't want to be a trophy wife. For you or anybody else. And you deserve better'n that."

     Tanira remains silent, looking away still. She does not contribute so much as a syllable, audibly or otherwise.

     "I'm not angry with you," he says quietly to her. "Or you either," he says to his sister. Balthazar chimes as he sits back. Though the food is all around him, by his request, he doesn't touch it. He even sets his beer aside and turns his attention to Madison.
     "You're right. We've talked about it only a little. I've kept my ideas, even my frustrations and my fears largely to myself. And I know I need to confide in you. I have not done so partially because I haven't wanted to overwhelm you. You needed to feel secure, confident in where you chose to be and make friends, get settled." He glances to Tanira. "I guess I'm just not sure where to start in his conversation, Madison. What do you want to know?"

     "I don't know," Maddie answers honestly. "I guess.. do you really think I could be what you need?" Now she looks up at you, meeting your gaze squarely. "I love you and all, but I think that's the first thing we need to figure out. Because if I'm not what you need now, well, um. That kind of sucks, but we can work with it. But if what you need's so far from who and what I am that it's going to take more'n a lick of paint and a bit of elbow grease, as granddad'd say..."
     She lets it trail off, looking away again.

     Tanira remains silent - on the surface. Beneath that, she tells her brother, I do still intend to help you. But first, this is a conversation the two of you need to have, I think; before anything else. Would you prefer I leave?

     No. There's no need. Besides, you know very well that you cannot leave. If someone were to walk in here, with us sitting alone, it would cause a firestorm I'm in no mood to tolerate.
     Balthazar's look softens at Maddie's entreaty. "I think you have potential, yes," he says, his tone more gentle, more thoughtful. He's still annoyed, but it is not directed at anyone in this room. "There was a time, back when we first arrived here, when I was less sure. I will say that. I have been concerned about your ability to put aside your differences with your family, but you've taken steps to resolve those things where before you simply avoided talking about them. We couldn't have this conversation a month ago. And you're compassionate, you are soulful, and you are creative. Those are the raw elements of what I want in a girlfriend or wife... or queen."
     He reaches for her hand, looking to the joined fingers, his and hers. "I am still sorting out what I even want my kingdom to be and how I want to be in it. There's no map, there's nothing laid out. I am finding this out, each waking day. I am creating it, each dreaming night. So... I don't have a list of things my queen needs to do, necessarily. It doesn't work that way. Well, or if it does for others, it doesn't for me. There are qualities I want a queen to have, some of which...as I said... you already embody. I want someone who will use her compassion and creativity to create a better existence for those around her. I would like whomever I marry to...be charitable, to be loving, to want to inspire others, to want to help those who truly need it, to be an equal partner. It's hard for me to tell you more, Maddie. I've only just now started building the structure of what the kingdom may become..."
     This is difficult for him to discuss. There is a part of him that is frustrated, stubborn for the interference, for being shoved and forced to speak ahead of time. "I told you about it last night, remember? I built a place that... spoke to me of you. Of course... I want you to be the one who eventually lives there with me... along with a bunch of other people." He quirks a grin at that. "I can't predict the future. I don't know what it will be for certain, or will look like. It is becoming. I am becoming. I'm trying to create my own identity, separate from my family, separate from my brother, from this island. I am creating my own standards to fly, my own experience. But... they are all just tiny seeds of things to come. I wish I had more for you. I don't at the moment."
     Quietly, to his sister: Nainie believes Maddie and I are not destined to be with one another. She thinks I should be with the Other West Girl. Remember her? I'm a bit confused. What do I do now? I can't ask her to marry me now. God, this is frustrating.

     "Eh. It's good enough." Maddie grins up at you lopsidedly. "In that case, it's not so bad. The rough part's all the extra classwork - I mean, in theory the stuff for the college in London's not so hard, since I could do it just on weekends and I'd still be working way ahead of schedule, since the time difference works so wide." She sighs, leaning in to flop against your shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know I - well, I tend to kind of put on a shell, I guess, and let things bounce off me. It's a coping mechanism, and it's been a lot to cope with. I mean, I know how I feel about you, and finding out that you were a lord and then a prince and then whatever else - it kinda threw me for a loop. I can't promise I won't sometimes revert to that, because y'know, it's how I get. But I'm trying to be something better. Really!"

     Nainie believes many things, Balthazar. Her belief does not make it true, Tanira points out patiently. She continues to avert her gaze, giving you as much privacy as you choose to take. And even if it were true - that destiny would have brought you two together - so? We make our own destinies by our actions. Would you be happier, or would you have been happier, with Madison's sister? I cannot answer that. I have only met Madison, for one. But I do not think that you should ask her to marry you; not yet. Do you want my advice on what you should do?

     I don't know...
     "That's understandable," Balthazar says, looking to Madison. "You need your own experiences, Maddie. You need to create your own dreams, your own vision. And I hope that when we are creating these people that we are becoming that we will want to ...become with one another. I like your sun-kissed soul, the way you walk into a room. The world can be your ocean; your smile is your board. You can ride it as far as you wish it to take you."
     I am putting an end to that whole matter. None of the petitions will be considered. As Balthazar is quiet, listening to Madison, he glances to his sister. What are your thoughts? Mine are confused, perturbed.
     "You have a shell, and I ...have a box. I tend to put all of my things in there, my thoughts, my feelings. And I keep that box to myself. I isolate. I don't share what I am thinking. And I will try to get better with that, too. We both have ... growing to do."
     But he is upset, quietly. It is disappointment. Plans, energies that were directed in one area, focused like a beam of sunlight, now are scattered, and he is scattered in the process. Balthazar sits forward taking up the beer. And a sweet bun. The small sweet bun is instantly annihilated.
     Gillian doesn't matter. I've put that matter aside. And even if I hadn't, her truth would not change: she's not into me. I said as much to Nainie. She doesn't seem to believe me...

     Move out to your new islands. Take with you as many of your closest friends as you can stand, and a handful of others. You will be away from the court, and no one can reach there without invitation, then, save a handful of your family and a very few others. Tanira remains seated upright, still, although the line of her spine has relaxed slightly. Thus there will be chaperones, technically; Madison can have her own room, or suite of rooms. You can put a door in place, leading to her suite here, or ... wherever. Just because Nainie wants her in the dorms does not place an obligation upon you or Madison to follow her desire, no matter how well-meaning her belief.
     She is silent a moment longer. ...As for the matter of Gillian, I must say, Tanira sounds somewhat reluctant, ...if it truly did not matter, then you would not need to say that she is not into you. You are still wounded on that score. There is still something there. I will investigate it; however, I will note that it is true that it does not matter. You care for Madison now, and the only way in which that could alter would be if she left you or is taken from you. You are loyal, Balthazar. And your love is true. But... She falls silent.

     "I like you," Maddie answers honestly. "I just ... some things, I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I mean... um." She gives you a shy look, then blushes, looking at her hands. "...How many kids would you want to have?" she blurts out.

     My love is true but.... what, sister?
     Balthazar is stirred from other thoughts, seeming surprised by the question. "Well," Balthazar blinks in thought, "... I hadn't really put a number on it but... more than three. It depends," he smiles a little. "We're a bit ...twin happy." He gives Madison's hand a little squeeze. "Fertility is... sort of what and who I am," he says quietly. "I will probably always want to fill you, Madison. I have to stop myself even now. Because I know you're not ready; it isn't time. But the desire for it is... immense." He half-frowns. "We've never talked about that. I've... never even asked you if you wanted children. I ... guess that's a pretty big thing to forget to discuss." He pauses. "Do you want to have children?"
     I was planning to move there. I was hoping she could go with me...but certainly she couldn't. Even if I cancel any notion that I'm going to be betrothed, there will be furor and fuss of biblical proportions. It is too late for that now, I think. It... will be hard to put the genie back in the bottle...

     But there is a shadow on your heart.
     Tanira does not add to it. She can see it, and that is all. Certainly she may go to there. If I accompany her as official chaperone - my reputation is equal to the task, little brother. Of course, you may not wish me so underfoot. And, of course, you ought invite Prince Stephen and Lady Joanna and Lady Lys, to name a few. I do not see where the problem lies. The Sun King must have his court, must he not? And it would seem very strange if you were to populate it with those not of your own generation or thereabouts. If they do not stay, that is their own business, and their parents may or may not saddle them with other chaperonage. If more is needed, you might consider inviting Gillian West to be her sister's chaperone as well. There is more in her thoughts, but she is not yet ready to share it. She turns it over, chewing on her own thoughts, meditating on it to try and discover more.

     More than three. Wow. Maddie blinks, half-frowning as well. "I, uh. Yeah, I'm really not ready for kids. I don't know when I will be. Three, I mean. Three, I know I could cope with - I'm the youngest of three, myself. But, uh. More than three? I, um. I don't know." She fidgets, looking at her hands. "I mean. I'm seventeen, and... yeah. I'm going to have to think about that, because I don't know, Baz. Couldn't we say, like, three to start with, and see how we feel then?"

     Golden eyes look to his sister, then quickly look away. When we played as children in the sun, it was like Hawaii never ended. But you are right, I am afraid, my sister. There is a shadow on my heart. I didn't know it was there until just right this moment.
     "I know," Balthazar says quietly, sympathetically, but seriously. "I ... can't say that, Maddie. I know I will want more than three. And... I can't ask you to predict how you will feel in the future. Or ask you to do something you don't wish to do, to have a life or future on my terms. It's not fair of me." And the darkness on his heart becomes apparent. He squeezes her hand and then releases it.
     "Oh, this is my fault," he whispers. He kisses her on the forehead, his eyes closing for a moment, and then he rises from the sofa. He needs to walk a moment, to move, to burn some of this energy off. He doesn't move to leave the royal box. Balthazar paces slowly to the window.

     I am sorry. There is nothing else your sister can say. She knows your pain, your confusion, and Tanira remains seated, eyes now closed.

     Maddie remain where she is, watching you go. There is confusion on her face - your fault? And lurking, in her own eyes, a fear. I am losing him. He is slipping away...

     Why are you sorry. It's my fault.
     "When we met, I wasn't really..." Balthazar puts his forefinger and thumb to the bridge of his nose for a moment, his back leaning against the railing. Behind him, the roar and cheering of the crowd, muted to murmuring white noise. He lowers his hand and looks to Madison. "I was running from all of this," he gestures around him. "I didn't really feel like I ...had a place. My brother was all but a god, at least in my view. So I became a bit of a wandering troubadour, I guess. Playing the clubs, eventually getting a band. That's where I thought I'd be, Madison. In London or touring Europe, wandering. Your sister didn't knock me off that rut. You did. And I didn't bother to ask you what you wanted. I dragged you from America to London to here," he makes a gesture, "...without even asking you if it's what you wanted. Partially because I didn't know what it meant, but that excuse only gets me so much rope."
     Folding his arms against his armored chest, he looks to you. "I know you love me. I love you. We don't have to debate that. But... answer me honestly. I need that of you right now. If I weren't in the picture at all, who and what would you want to be? Not a mother, I'm guessing, before twenty-three."

     I do not take joy in your pain, brother. I know that this pains you. That is all.

     "You hardly knew my sister. And - well, I guess that's why I was having such a hard time of it," Maddie says slowly, drawing her knees up to her chest and looking up at you. "Because the entire reason why Gilly didn't go for you in a big way was because you were going to be a rock star." She sighs. "Gilly ... has a thing for stability. Y'know? She copes with change because she has to, but she plans everything. You've seen that purse she carries, right? It's got stuff in it to cover just about anything she can think of without it turning into a military backpack. You weren't on her schedule. I think that scared her. Well, I know it scared her. And when you - kinda stopped being a rock star..."
     She looks down at her hands again, not willing to meet your gaze or see your expression, shoulders hunching a little bit. "She could cope with you being a lord. She could even cope with you being a prince, with - with all of this," Maddie waves one hand to indicate the room, the arena, the palace beyond it, the mass of kingdoms intertwining and seething on maps and all the magic and strangeness contained therein, "better than she could with you being a rock star, Baz. She'd even do a better job of it than I would. And - and that's why, I think, I was such a bitch to her." She blinks, looking to the wall. "Because if - if she changed her mind about you... if she decided she still wanted you after all..."
     She swallows and she sighs, and she closes her eyes, leaning to rest her forehead forward against her knees. "Who and what would I want to be? I don't know, Baz. When I met you - when I heard about you - I was sixteen. I was focusing on getting out of school and finally having a little freedom. And then I was with you and I had freedom, kinda, even with family drama, yours and mine, and all the rest. It isn't like I had a career particularly lined up. I wanted somebody to love me, who I could love, and I wanted to travel and see new places and new things. And, well, I got all that, didn't I? The only dream I had was of maybe becoming a professional surfer, and y'know, it's not like my family would've let me go and do that. If you weren't in the picture, or rather, if you hadn't come into the picture, I'd probably be whining about that and flirting with random guys, and goofing off and barely passing classes. I don't know where it would've gone from there. You'd have to ask my brother. He got the useful magic. Not me."

     "Sight... foresight... is a bit of a mixed blessing," Balthazar murmurs to her. "And Gillian's not really the point, Maddie." He pushes off the railing to resume his walk, returning to the sofas and chairs. He unfolds his arms, his hands lifting to his amber, wavy hair. "When my heart is given, it is given," he says quietly. "It is... like Polaris. You can navigate by its constancy."
     But that doesn't mean this will work, or that it was meant to be. Or that you even wish to be here, to have this life.
     His hand reaches down to touch her face, the distance closed. "And that's where the fault lies. I knew you were young. And I didn't take care of you. This... this is why your brother didn't...doesn't...didn't like me." He's not sure which it is; both present and past tense apply. "I should have had a steadier hand. I was going through something then, that awakening, that I didn't understand. So... it was not intentional, but it was still careless of me. And now we are a bit stuck, you and I. I think. Not just me. Not just you. We are stuck. I do love you, Maddie. I truly do. I built a replica of Hawaii in your honor, bearing my little nickname for you. I built it ... not for me, but for you. Because you were the foundations upon which I would build my kingdom. Emotionally. And that's not fair either. You didn't ask for this, didn't even occur to you that it existed. We should not be stubborn and force ourselves into something... if it is not what is really wanted. I know you love me, sweetheart. I do. And I love you. But if you do not want to be a queen... and if you do not think you want to have children for a while and...then... if then... not many...then ...I don't think this is going to work very well for either of us. I ... don't want you to answer right away. We need to think, I think. For once in our lives together, Maddie, you and I need to stop, to consider."
     Balthazar glances to his sister. I am such an idiot. Really. How is it I can do anything without drooling on myself in my own idiocy?
     Sighing, his face showing his own sadness, Balthazar brushes his fingers through the fire maiden's hair. "Perhaps we just need to spend a little time apart, time for you to explore who you are and what you want. Time for me to figure out what I'm doing so I don't completely bollocks it up. Again. And I can tell you then what I would want from a queen, a wife, a partner. And you could tell me... what you do and do not want, after you have had time to think about it, search your feelings, and have your own success."

     She does not point out to you what you already know; that this is why Nainie suggested the dorms, that this is what she must have seen. Why bother? She isn't keen on rubbing salt into open wounds. Tanira's eyes remain closed; as if by so doing, she is inviolate, she does not intrude upon your conversation. You are not an idiot, Balthazar. You are who and what you are. And she cannot give you the answers now, even if you were not giving her time. At seventeen, how can one truly answer for twenty-three?

     Maddie looks on the verge of tears, stricken. It is all slipping through her fingers like sand and water. "Baz..." She swallows. "I know I want to be with you. I..." She bites her bottom lip, hard, and lowers her face to her hands, trying to push tears back in past her eyelids. It doesn't work, of course; it never does.
     Quietly, Tanira rises to her feet. I fear I have done you little good, brother, in the long run. I must meditate on this. I am sorry, little brother. It is of little consolation what my intentions were.

     His eyes are likewise glass. Such tears the sun cries. They hang in his eyes, turning the color as bright as brass. "And I wish you to be. But being with me is more than simply...being with me. It means taking on the weight of a kingdom and an Ideal. Of giving birth to that ideal both figuratively and literally. And I don't want you to do something... that you do not really want to do. I don't want to take over your life, Maddie, to be the sole focus of it. I never wanted that."
     He crouches down, the armored kilt rearranging itself with chiming rings and a flash of gold. "Let's take some time, for our sake," he says, hand to her head. He kisses her gently on the cheek. "My heart is yours. It's not going anywhere..."
     Balthazar rises, looking to his sister. No...stay with her. And you have no need to apologize. I ...did this to her and to me. No one else.

     She does not speak of her reasons, but it hangs heavy as iron over her thoughts. Very well. You should go, then, if you are going. Her heart is breaking, poor girl. She fears losing you more than she fears anything else.
     Tanira moves in carefully, but does not touch Maddie. She looks to you, and through you. It is such hell to fall in love.

     Maddie looks to you in despair, then away again, tears streaking her face. She does not trust herself to speak. Her stomach is twisting in her throat. She scrunches up her face, pressing her fists against her eyes, shoulders shaking silently.

     When they fall, his own tears are warm. They come without fanfare of breath or sobbing sounds. They simply are. They fall into her hair as he halos her head with his hands. He wants to hold her. His wings make a brief appearance, embracing her, before drawing away again.
     Balthazar rises, as shining as a saint, an icon in a holy church, as if he were made of stained glass. He swallows. "I love you," he whispers, and he steps away.
     And to you, sister, he turns his incandescent face, a face that knows the truth but cannot bear to speak it. His hand goes go his armored chest as he puts his shoulder to the door to open it. The rest is conflagration.

Posted by rowan at January 06, 2010 02:49 PM